Durarara!!, Vol. 9 Read online

  Bacura: There’s always the possibility that Sharo or Kid are girls, you know.

  100% Pure Water: Ah yes. Because we don’t know each other’s identities.

  100% Pure Water: But if Sharo was a girl, that would be quite a gap between appearances and reality. (lol)

  Bacura: Hey, I get moe for the gap.

  100% Pure Water: Are you one of those people who uses the word “moe,” then?

  Bacura: I’ll do anything to keep the conversation going with a girl.

  100% Pure Water: No, really, are you actually monitoring this chat room all the time?

  Bacura: Well,

  Bacura: I’ve got a program set up to alert me whenever someone logs in.

  100% Pure Water: I don’t believe this! How much do you love this chat room anyway?!

  100% Pure Water: Wait, is it possible you’ve got your mind set on someone in this chat group? No, that’s not possible. You’ve already got Saki!

  Bacura: No idea what you mean.

  100% Pure Water: Oh, come on! It’s totally obvious from your interactions! Did you think nobody could tell?!

  Bacura: I reserve the right to remain silent.

  100% Pure Water: Hmph. Then I suppose I won’t ask!

  100% Pure Water: In that case, do you have any real friends from the old guard?

  Bacura: Whoa, whoa,

  Bacura: Let’s not do this.

  Bacura: It’s not cool to pry into each other’s private lives.

  100% Pure Water: I didn’t realize you were so uptight. Don’t you get curious? Don’t you wonder about the people on the other side of the screen?

  Bacura: Some things you’re better off not learning.

  Bacura: And if things are going well here,

  Bacura: Then there’s no need to go digging any deeper.

  Bacura: So long!

  Bacura has left the chat.

  100% Pure Water: He’s gone.

  100% Pure Water: But what if he really is thinking about someone else here?

  100% Pure Water: On another topic, TarouTanaka hasn’t shown up in here lately.

  100% Pure Water: TarouTanaka, if you’re watching, please come back to us.

  100% Pure Water: I bet you’d like to be introduced to the newcomers!

  100% Pure Water: Well, that’s all from me!

  100% Pure Water has left the chat.

  The chat room is currently empty.

  The chat room is currently empty.

  The chat room is currently empty.

  .

  .

  .

  In a Dark Place 2

  “But still…you must have done some research into us, right?” Earthworm said, her voice bright in the dim room. “About Amphisbaena?”

  There was no thought for hiding the identity of the group, suggesting that the burlap sack covering the man’s head wasn’t meant for that purpose.

  “Well? Were you or weren’t you snooping on us?”

  “…”

  “Didn’t you think what you were doing was dangerous?”

  “…”

  Still there was no sound coming from the sack but breathing and no vocalization.

  “Were you thinking we weren’t yakuza, and therefore, we’d be nicer…and wouldn’t bother to abduct you?”

  “…”

  “Nope, nope, no—no—no, nuh-uh, no way! You’re a disgrace to your profession. Don’t you know young folks snap easily these days? We’ve got calcium deficiency. The fourteen and unders are killin’ it up in the killing fields, knowing they’re protected from the death penalty by juvenile law. But I’m in my twenties, so whatever. On the inside, I’m eternally that little boy smushing ants on the playground, got it? But don’t worry—I’m a girl. A girl with the mentality of a little boy. Isn’t that cute?”

  “…”

  Even these taunts did not elicit a reaction from the sack.

  “I wonder, Izaya Orihara. Can you even hear me?” she wheedled, poking at the sack. “Want me to take this off?”

  “…”

  The man’s head rose slightly, turning in the direction of her voice.

  “Ooh, he reacted! Hey, can you bob your head for me?”

  The man with the burlap sack on his head shook it up and down with a vigor he hadn’t shown thus far.

  “Ha-ha! You’re finally looking lively again. Too bad I’m not gonna take the sack off,” Earthworm gloated, her narrowed eyes appearing to drown in pleasure. She grabbed his nose through the rough fabric. “It’s scarier than you thought to have a bag over your head the entire time, isn’t it?”

  “…”

  “It’s dark, all the smells and sounds are muffled, you can’t eat anything, and your breath makes everything stuffy and damp. I wonder if it would smell if you ate garlic beforehand. But I doubt you’d have that problem, since you seem like you’d be obsessed with preventing bad breath. I’ve seen pictures of you, and you’re always looking cool and suave.”

  She wasn’t giving away the full breadth of her information about him, just delivering enough to make him uneasy.

  “But that burlap sack is scary, right? I tried it myself, and I couldn’t take more than five seconds. I was terrified it would ruin my makeup.”

  She flicked the forehead of her captive through the cloth.

  “I’m sorry that we’re just so devastatingly fascinating and cute that you couldn’t help but try to research us,” she said theatrically. “But you see, our owner really hates being spied on like this. Personally, I’d love to show you more and more of what you want to see, but I can’t disobey the owner. It’s the tragedy of the employee, you know?”

  “…”

  “Quiet again? Wait, you haven’t said anything to begin with. I’d kind of like to hear something, even if it’s just a scream.”

  Earthworm reached over to a nearby table and picked up a pair of scissors, then closed the blades loudly next to the sack, snip, snip.

  Their captive leaned away to avoid the shears, but Earthworm continued her torment, moving the blades closer.

  “But it’s a good thing not to speak, huh? I just accidentally mentioned the owner, so you’ve probably figured out there’s someone higher than me in this organization.”

  “…”

  “I guess that makes you a successful info broker, huh? Not talking is the best choice.” Earthworm chuckled.

  She sat back down, and her voice cold and hard this time, she warned, “But it’s not going to work. Nope, nuh-uh. You might be able to hold your silence, but we already know everything there is to know about you.”

  Cruelty shone in her eyes, and her lips turned up in sadistic pleasure. “Your dear daddy and mummy are doing financial business overseas, aren’t they?”

  “…”

  “Obviously, we can’t just fly over there to see them…but you do have two darling little sisters close by. Kururi and Mairu, I believe?”

  The man lifted his head.

  A pitiable prisoner, shaking in denial.

  Earthworm leaned forward, unable to help herself from squirming with affection for her miserable prey. Her words were cold.

  “My friend is going to pick them up now. I’m sure you must be very happy to see them soon, Big Brother Izaya.”

  Again, time retreated several days to earlier in this tale…

  Chapter 2: Iza

  Along Kawagoe Highway, Shinra’s apartment

  “Today was just terrible…”

  Celty was typing onto the computer screen, while it was her live-in partner, Shinra Kishitani, whose voice actually filled the room.

  “Are you all right, Celty?! Your sadness is my sadness! As the saying goes, ‘A wife’s words can move mountains,’ which means the woman of the house actually has the most say in everything! I know we haven’t had a wedding yet, but you are essentially my wife, and your laments have my heart twisted in agonizing knots! But, Celty, you’re…koff…ugh…”

  It was Shinra’s usual sort of rant but deli
vered without his usual intensity. His voice gave out abruptly, and Celty raced over to him to see what was the matter.

  “Oh, sorry, Celty. It’s all right; I just got a glob of saliva down my windpipe…”

  “Oh…that’s good. I’m sorry—I shouldn’t be complaining when you’re in this state…”

  She was looking down at her partner, who was completely bedridden.

  After a recent attack, Shinra was left with broken bones all over and significant internal damage. He had spent a full week at the Nebula Medical Research Facility before he was declared stable enough to recover at home.

  Normally, he should have been at a regular hospital, but as a black market doctor, Shinra’s apartment already had some medical devices. Plus, this way he didn’t have to answer any uncomfortable questions.

  He was able to hold conversations as usual, but everything else required Celty’s help, plus the occasional extra hand from his stepmother, Emilia.

  Things were tough for Shinra. Celty hadn’t been able to figure out how the bedpan worked at first, so she’d just lifted him entirely over to the bathroom with her shadows. When she’d tried to cook porridge for him, the result had been more like a burned cracker. But by now, things had settled down, and life was returning to normal for Celty, bit by bit.

  That didn’t mean she was mentally back to her regular self, however.

  “I’ll work to make up for your absence, Shinra!” she claimed and rushed off to run jobs between her shifts attending to him—though that was really just an excuse to get outside.

  Celty’s real goal was to gather information about whoever had attacked Shinra. Her driving force was the rage she felt at her beloved being injured. Perhaps sensing what was going on with her, Shinra did his best to look lively and happy.

  “But the traffic cops are out in force these days, so you should be even more careful than usual.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “There’s not a single thing for you to apologize for! If anything, I should apologize for not being able to jump up and hold you!”

  As a matter of fact, the first time he tried to force himself up to leap on Celty, he doubled over in pain and heard the sounds of his own body creaking under the pressure of his weight. Once Celty threatened to leave him if he kept hurting himself, he finally calmed down and behaved.

  Shinra was flat on his back with a special kind of bed desk that allowed him to use the computer from a prone position so that he could see the record of Celty’s messages. He grinned happily.

  “I’m so glad you came back safe and sound, though. That knowledge is the best medicine I could have, Celty.”

  “Shinra…”

  “Even these last few days, hearing you talk about what happened outside really eases the pain for me. From Shizuo’s impostor to the girl with pyrokinesis, the ordinary stuff and the weird stuff—it’s like you’re taking me to all these different worlds through your stories. It’s silly for a doctor to claim that illness starts in the mind, but I really feel like you’re the best medicine I could ever have.”

  His words were more wonderful than Celty could process but also more gut-wrenching.

  Shinra’s injuries were far more serious than his smiles would suggest. Nebula’s experimental painkillers should have been easing most of the pain, but the injuries themselves weren’t going to heal anytime soon.

  It could be a month until full recovery—or three or maybe six. Would there be lingering effects? Celty knew nothing about medicine, so she couldn’t say.

  What have I been doing all this time…?

  Couldn’t she have worked as Shinra’s assistant in his illegal doctoring business rather than running courier jobs? That would have at least given her some skills that might have come in handy now.

  The emotions that came over her were wild and conflicting: Each time, it was Shinra’s words that eased her mind but also gripped her conscience with guilt. However, Shinra never demanded any responsibility from Celty. He could sense her anguish and tried to steer the conversation away from touchy topics in a subtle attempt to show her she wasn’t at fault for what had happened.

  “Maybe I had this coming.”

  “Coming…? What do you mean? Yeah, what you do for a living is illegal, but the punishment for that happens when you get arrested and sentenced. You aren’t hurting people…well, except for the time you did surgery on Mika’s face…and all the other bad stuff you’ve done…But…anyway, if you turn yourself in, then I’ll summon my courage and surrender to that cop, as frightening as it is to me! We’ll be in prison together!”

  “…Prisons aren’t coed, Celty.”

  “No way!” she hastily typed.

  Shinra’s expression softened, and he explained, “I meant, maybe I had it coming because of Izaya.”

  “Izaya?”

  “When he got stabbed and hospitalized, he called me, and I basically shut him down, didn’t I? My friend got stabbed, and I hardly felt any concern for him at all. So I probably had this coming.”

  “No way…Izaya totally earned what he got! Everybody hates him for a reason! He practically wears karma as an outfit every day he steps outside!”

  It was an odd analogy, but Shinra merely chuckled and looked up at the ceiling. “I suppose you’re right. And I doubt that Izaya expects he’ll live to die of old age.”

  “Of course not.”

  “And yet, he’s still one of the few friends I have…”

  “I feel like the problem is that you’re friends with him in the first place…,” Celty said, then realized that the man she was talking to was in love with her—a headless monster—and she mimicked heaving a sigh.

  “Okay, you’ve known Izaya since you were both in middle school, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t know much about him at that age… Was he always like that?”

  “Ah. I’m not sure what to say. In middle school, Izaya was the type not to make contact with others. Even now, I doubt he has anyone he can truly speak the honest truth to,” Shinra said, face pensive as he considered the friend he’d known for over a decade. “I’d bet I’m the one he’s actually talked to longest, over the course of his life…

  “So I suppose the only people who would know the younger Izaya better than I do would be…his family.”

  Ikebukuro, near Rakuei Gym

  “Hey, Big Brother Iza! Die!” a cheerful voice called out.

  Simultaneously, a foot launched itself at the back of Izaya’s neck in a vicious high kick.

  “…!”

  He dodged it in the nick of time and sighed, his usual detached smirk gone. “I can’t believe you’d tell your own immediate family member to die. It’s so sad. Since when did you get to be one of those inmates in the asylum of our depraved, detached modern society, Mairu?”

  “Wow, I can’t believe I’m being lectured by illness in human form! And you’re not supposed to dodge!” grumbled a girl with a braid, dressed in a black karate gi. A moment later, another girl in regular clothes appeared.

  “…Brother… Well…?” [Big Brother, how are you doing?]

  “My own sister just tried to break my neck. How do you think I am?” Izaya replied.

  The girl with the glasses dressed for karate—Mairu Orihara—puffed out her cheeks. “Well, Shizuo said that if you went crashing into a dump truck with a smile on your face, he’d introduce us to Yuuhei! I was just trying to see if there was a way to fake it and fool him!”

  “Well, this is remarkable. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone killing their own brother as a means of meeting a celebrity.”

  “Hey, you might not actually die! Shizuo could get run over by a dump truck and survive!”

  “Please don’t act like every person is a talking golem made of steel like he is—and that might be paying him a compliment he doesn’t deserve. At any rate, you’d better get out of the middle of the street or a car will hit you well before any dump trucks come along.” Izaya played the b
rotherly role, concealing his disgust at the mention of Shizuo’s name with nothing more than narrowed eyes.

  That was careless of me. When he dropped me off at Rakuei Gym, I should have imagined that Mairu would be here, Izaya thought, annoyed at himself.

  His sisters glared at him. “All I did was head outside to make sure Akane left safely, and then you’re getting out of the Awakusu-kai’s car like that! Whatever happened to all the excitement about you possibly getting buried in the mountains?!” Mairu protested.

  The other girl, Kururi Orihara, looked away and mumbled, “…Further… Sisters… Passed…” [Plus, you didn’t even notice us.]

  “Hey, you two are doing all kinds of stuff behind my back, aren’t you? How much is Namie paying you? This is why giving kids big allowances is a bad idea.”

  “You can’t lecture me about that, Bro, not after you made a bunch of money running a gambling ring for baseball during middle school!” Mairu shot back, sticking her tongue out like a child.

  Kururi hesitantly dipped her tongue out as well. Izaya groaned.

  “I can’t imagine who influenced you to turn out so twisted,” he mumbled to himself. “On the other hand, viewed objectively, you make quite interesting observation subjects—”

  He suddenly noticed something odd.

  Mairu and Kururi were both looking behind him, mouths open as if to grunt in surprise.

  “…!”

  His honed instincts told him to spin around. And not just turn but to lean his center of gravity so that he could leap out of the way.

  His decision was the correct one.

  Before he even saw anything, the shift in the air told the hair on his skin about its presence.

  A roundhouse kick toward his face.

  His instincts had warned him of the oncoming attack before his sense of reason did. And this kick was several times more powerful than the one Mairu had just tried to use on him.

  As his front half snapped backward like a spring, he sensed the shoe of the kicker grazing the tip of his nose. Just that sensation alone was enough to make half his face go numb, but he couldn’t stop there.

  Izaya chose to escape via the ground, laying his body horizontal and tumbling to the asphalt like a gymnast. Immediately, a series of heels struck the ground, following his path as he rolled. It was like a scene from some Jackie Chan movie.